Over the past few years I have decided to pick my schooling over a social life, and while I have no regrets of this because I have seen a great improvement in my grades and my GPA, I find myself lacking in human connections.
A few years ago I tried my best to balance school, work, a social life with both friends and family, but it got to be way too much and I found myself very depressed and disgusted with myself because of how I let my GPA fall so far down into the gutter (figuratively, not literally, haha), and so I decided around this time last year that I needed to work on myself, and unfortunately, I cut myself off from a lot of people and social activites/media. If you want to see yourself become successful, you have to dedicate time towards yourself, and work hard for what you want. Those who devour your time are just sucking the life out of you and they’re taking time away from your dreams, hopes, and desires. So, unfortunately I had to “drop off the face of the planet” for a few friendships in order to better myself for the my own future.
In the meantime, this will hurt a bit, but in the long run, those who truly want to be a part of my life in the end will hold it out and support me on my journey. Those friends who are willing to wait, I try my best to make time for them during the little breaks I do have, like during spring, summer, or winter breaks, but I feel like friendships are also a two-way street. If I’m willing to dedicate time in my day to text you, shoot you an e-mail, or give you time out of my day, I should expect the same. I’m not going to give you some of my time, just to have you toss it to the side. Friendships, heck, any relationship, takes work and dedication from both parties. If you can’t be there for a friend, then you should have the courtesy and respect for them to tell them, “Hey, I’m sorry, I’m just swamped with work right now, can we get a raincheck, or text later?”. You, being the person who’s asking for a raincheck, better have the courtesy to return that text or call later on, if you care to have that person in your life, because they reached out to you, and if you care enough about them, reach back out to them! The same goes if you are on the opposite side of this example, if someone isn’t reaching back out to you, perhaps give the relationship a second thought, is this person worth the one sided effort you keep giving, but not receiving back in return? Personally, I don’t have time for that with my busy life and schedule at the moment.
Being a Pre-Professional Biology Major is no freaking joke. It’s a legit 24/7 job that I have been working hard on for several years, and it’s only going to get harder from here once I reach grad school. I have spent countless nights crying to my mom, my dad, and my boyfriend about how exhausted I am, how I want to give up, and how I don’t know if I can do it anymore. Those who believe in me will support me and say that I can keep going, and it gives me a bit of inspiration. Know your worth. Know who will be waiting at the finish line for you once you’re done with your journey. Know that you come first before anything or anyone else in this world. As RuPaul always says, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else, can I get an Amen?”
Photo Credit: Kaitlyn Baker on Unsplash